Life in the Duniyah

Posted under General Musings by khaalidah

The People We are to the People We Meet 

I am a Muslimah.  No kidding Sherlock, yeah?  But this is significant to say, I think, as I live and work in the duniyah.  We Muslims know that “duniyah” simply means “the world” but it has so many other connotations, which aren’t always good.  But alas, we have to live in the Duniyah, yeah?

I work as an oncology nurse and I get to meet all sorts of people on a daily basis.  I work with non-Muslims, I talk to them daily, and I like a good few of them.  But, always on their terms.  I am not bitter about this.  I recognize that I have to deal with the masses in the way that they best understand.  But with that said, I think it cheats us all of a learning experience.

The thing is, I often find myself having to or needing to explain why I do or do not do certain things.  And in my impatience, I sometimes leave off the explanations.  I mean really, it can get long and time consuming, BUT I recognize that this is a failing on my part.  One example is this: At work, we frequently have drug representatives who will come into the clinic to introduce a new drug.  They almost always come with lunch.  I rarely, if ever, attend giving the impression that I am antisocial.  I don’t attend because the food is never halal (chicken and beef fajitas, chicken breast with noodles, Chinese food with pork and beef…) so if I go, I am always regulated to eating a salad and a roll, or chips and a piece of cake, or some other little sad side dish.  Sometimes the representatives will bring an alternative vegetarian plate, but miraculously every haram meat eating person decides that day to go on a vegetarian diet, so by the time I can get a plate all that is left is the meat version.

Well, my co-workers have stopped asking, but they used to ask all the time, “Why don’t you ever come to lunch.”  At first I simply said that I preferred to commune with myself during my lunch break.  But then I realized that in brushing the subject away like that, I was cheating them of the opportunity to learn about me and my Islam.  And I was cheating myself of the opportunity to earn their understanding of me based on my differences, ie. my Islam.

As time has passed, I have definitely earned the respect of so many of them (I’d like to think so anyway) because while in many ways, I am just one of the girls with the same issues as everyone else, ie children, a husband, work and school, I am definitely unique among them. 

So I think that this is our job, yeah?  To lead by example, but more importantly, to make ourselves available to answer questions.  If we don’t, then what we end up with are a bunch of tractor driving, hay chewing, born agains who still refer to us as towel heads, Arabs (which means a whole bunch more than simply Arab), terrorists and niggers.  (see my post Arab=Nigger, and the link following that).

So, when someone approaches me with a question, which usually starts with, “Can I ask you a personal question?”, I always smile and say, “Sure.”  Even though I am cringing inside for fear of what this question might entail.  Hey, let’s face it, not everyone has learned the art of being tactful.  (I was once asked by a woman if I go to bed with my husband wearing the hijab.  My response?  “Where’s the fun in that?”)

Khaalidah

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